Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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