bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
