Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
