He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
