that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
