I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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