You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
did i just pee glitter
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
