do herpes really smell.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
