I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
