Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
