I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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