Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
NoShamevember. You game?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
