nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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