I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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