Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
