Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
