Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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