hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
