you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just want to make out with him forever
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
