I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Randomize
