You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."