I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit