I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
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I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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