Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
