ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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