Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
