1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
