Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning

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  (770): his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning http://tfl.nu/bect
  Replies (32) Good night (15555) Bad night (2374)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology

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  (313): i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology http://tfl.nu/1r1t
  Replies (10) Good night (4855) Bad night (831)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children

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  (504): how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children http://tfl.nu/hk2n
  Replies (11) Good night (2431) Bad night (4177)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.

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  (314): There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign. http://tfl.nu/jmkr
  Replies (36) Good night (813) Bad night (5875)
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  (818): View more from California

  Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.

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  (818): Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job. http://tfl.nu/3lp9
  Replies (13) Good night (5738) Bad night (1131)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me

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  (774): mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me http://tfl.nu/1umx
  Replies (12) Good night (1020) Bad night (5707)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....

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  (770): Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues.... http://tfl.nu/vepi
  Replies (5) Good night (2171) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.

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  (812): I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad. http://tfl.nu/pu3r
  Replies (7) Good night (1605) Bad night (898)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?

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  (609): What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion? http://tfl.nu/x6xu
  Replies (6) Good night (566) Bad night (1930)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.

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  (267): I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible. http://tfl.nu/ayl9
  Replies (9) Good night (1936) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Dude our life is a booze cruise

  (585): View more from New York

  But without boats...

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  (585): Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise (770): Dude our life is a booze cruise (585): But without boats... http://tfl.nu/7gcu
  Replies (2) Good night (1312) Bad night (396)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.

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  (425): On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler. http://tfl.nu/m74v
  Replies (6) Good night (237) Bad night (1148)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.

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  (404): Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not. http://tfl.nu/3nps
  Replies (2) Good night (278) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.

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  (785): So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck. http://tfl.nu/iki8
  Replies (1) Good night (313) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.

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  (206): You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate. http://tfl.nu/3z68
  Replies (4) Good night (902) Bad night (150)

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