Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
