wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...