..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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