Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize