He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.