Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
