My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
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