Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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