I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
