week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Let's get the cat blown out
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
soo... how was my night?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
