I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I am mentally ready for anal.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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