So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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