Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
