worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize