Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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