she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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