My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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