I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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