i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
