Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I want to be your penis for a week.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
