I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
