i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
