She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
