Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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