lets start a swedish sibling band together
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
