I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
