Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
