What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
