its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
