super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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