I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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