That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
