I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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