careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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