These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
