Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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