It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
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If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
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Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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