Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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