i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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